Here in Newport, Oregon, we really have just one road going through town. 101. Highway 101. The 101. Locals insist that we call it just: 101. So 101 it is.
My family lives in The Sea Hag Luxury Apartments on the north side of town (name of apartments changed so my stalker can’t find me. My stalker is Shopko Card Services).
There’s nothing on the north side of town up here except nature and a few bad restaurants. Nature, I like, but there’s only so much you can do with nature especially when it’s raining a foot a day.
Newport doesn’t have a “downtown” per se, but all the fun stuff, not nature related, goes on in central Newport. All south of here. There’s The Bayfront, The Nye Beach District (currently problematic due to [another] raw sewage spill), and The Deco District.
Of course, the real downtown of Newport is the Newport Walmart. It’s the #1 Tourist Spot on the entire Oregon Coast. At least the most visited according to some statistics I’ve heard third hand.
Our preferred place to visit in Newport is The Bayfront and Nye Beach (when there’s not a raw sewage issue). Getting there, especially in the summer or weekends, can be a real pain in the ass and there’s only one reason:
Tourists.
Gad.
Danged.
Tourists.
On traffic heavy days, it can take over 10 minutes to get to the other side of town! Unacceptable.
So here at The Sea Hag Luxury Apartments we rely on a secret bypass. It’s a one-way road nobody knows about and it can shave 5-10 minutes off our drive. It also keeps us off the 101 which keeps us sane. Thank the lords above for the secret bypass.
Thank god, that is, until last October. Almost a year ago now, a bridge inspector from the state of Oregon was down inspecting the (10-foot wide) Big Creek Bridge that leads onto Big Creek Rd. The bridge inspector deemed our bridge to be: Impassable.
Our shortcut to central Newport was CUT OFF.
I had the idea that the city should just tear the bridge down and put a couple of boards over it for us to drive over, but the people down at city hall disagreed with me. So our shortcut, the one thing in Newport that “Sparks Joy” in me, was closed down.
We’ve been driving up 101 like tourists for eleven months now! It’s been a real hardship, but we’re holding on.
Yesterday I did something I abhor: I went onto the Newport Community Facebook Group. You’ll never find a group of more angry, bitter, bilious people in the world. Okay, a lot of them are nice, but they’re quieter than the bilious folks.
I go to this group page once a week because we don’t have a newspaper in town and it’s really the only place to find out what the hell is going on around here.
That’s when I got the news I had been waiting for.
The new bridge is being installed as we speak. The city claims that it will be done by the end of the month! I’m assuming this means the end of the year, but our yearlong nightmare is almost over.
The Big Creek Bridge is about to be usable again. If there’s a ribbon cutting, I’ll be standing there applauding.
Thanks City of Newport, even if it took a year.
